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Material Data Sheet
 
Woman - A Chemical Analysis
 
Element  Woman
Symbol  WO
Discoverer  Adam
Atomic Mass  Accepted as 118, but known to vary from 100 to 460lbs
Occurence  Copious quantities in all urban ares
 
Physical Properties
1   Surface covered with a film of paint
2   Boils at nothing and freezes without reason
3   Melts if given special treatment
4   Bitter if incorrectly used
5   Found in various states ranging from virgin to common ore
6   Yields to pressure when applied correctly
 
Chemical Properties
1   Has great affinity for Gold, Silver, Platinum and precious stones
2   Absorbs great quantities of expensive substances
3   May explode spontaneously if left alone with a male
4   Insoluble in liquids, but activity greatly increased by saturation in alcohol
5   Most powerful money reducing agent
 
Common Uses
1   Highly ornamental, especially in sports cars
2   Can be a great aid to relaxation
 
Tests
1   Pure specimen turns a rosy pink when discovered in a natural state
2   Turns green when placed beside a better specimen
 
Hazards
1   Highly dangerous except in experienced hands
2   Illegal to possess more than one
 
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